Teens Relationships 101

Ok, let’s be honest: teenage relationships are not the same in real life as they are in movies. They’re so much worse. So, to help you understand, I’m going to go through it all for you. The things I do for this blog.

DISCLAIMER: I have never been in an interesting relationship, but since I’m friends with people who act like they live in a soap opera, I think I know what I’m talking about.

Stage One:
So, you see this guy/girl and they somehow seem more interesting. I mean you’ve known this person for years, but there’s just something about them today. Maybe it’s the lighting? You forget about it.
But then you can’t stop thinking about it. You check your temperature to make sure you’re okay, and stalk their Instagram whilst doing so.No, it wasn’t the lighting. They’ve always looked good and you’ve just realised. You idiot.

Stage Two:
This is the stage where many almost-relationships suffer a blow: telling your friends. If you have nice friends, they’ll approve of your choice. If you have good friends, they’ll tell you all the bad things your crush has done in the past, just to warn you.

Stage Three:
You feel obliged to tell your closest friends. Then your friends that you knew a few years ago (you’re still technically friends) and then that guy you feel like you can trust in maths and now everyone knows. Well done. You kind of want your crush to know so you end up telling their friends. You make them promise not to tell him. And they don’t. That worked, didn’t it?

Stage Four:

Now that everybody know, you feel obliged to do something about it. And you decide to do so. There are loads of ways of doing this. Texting them. Waiting for them after a lesson you have together (if you’re super brave and want to tell them yourself). Using Valentine’s Day is a good day to reveal your love for someone. Or maybe just ask them out. I mean YOLO right? The worst thing that can happen is that they’ll reject you and tell everyone and you’ll be a laughing stock for a few days (laughing stock for the rest of your life with your friends).

Stage Five:

You’ve told them. And they didn’t react badly. In fact, you’re still okay with each other. They start being nicer and you become closer. You feel it’s time to make your move.
You: Hey, can I ask you something?
Crush: Sure *flashes million dollar smile*
You: Will you go out with me?
If your crush says no, then your doomed. I suggest never talking to them again and hope time will heal you relationship.
If your crush says yes, then you’ve scored. You’ll be the happiest person alive. Who wouldn’t be when the person you like agrees to go out with you?

Stage Six:

One thing I’ve noticed is that once you’re in a relationship, everyone’s Instagram bio changes from [Age]//[Marital Status]//[Sport]//[Selected Emojis] or [Strange AF Quote] to [Bae’s Name][Lovey Emojis]. I mean this is sweet. It’s sort of showing that your bae (notice its gone from crush to bae) is like your entire life. Not that this is a big deal though, what does Instagram expect a 15 year old to write in their bio? Their life stories aren’t nearly as interesting as they think.

Stage Seven:

Everyone knows and you’re the school’s new power couple. But every power couple has its ups and downs. Your bae’s getting close to your friend. They always talk. They say its about you but you know its not. You brush it aside.

Stage Eight:

Together for a few months now. You know something dodgy is going on now. They don’t spend nearly enough time with you. Urgh. They’ve been flirting with everyone they talk to. You can’t believe you ever liked them. You want to leave without hurting them.

Stage Nine:

They admit they’ve gone astray. They’ve found problems. You end it. Or they do. Either way, you’re not together anymore.

Stage Ten:

You go back to your friends, your Instagram bio goes back to the way it was and life is back to normal. Your relationship was a rollercoaster but it was fun. And remember this was a teenage relationship so it wasn’t even serious. You’ll laugh about it in a few years when you guys are friends again. Yep, you’ll avoid each other for a few months, but you’re still friends right? You said that when you were breaking up so it’s all good.

I just want to say not every relationship is like this, some go really well and are loyal and never stray. Some people never get together even tough they want to and people fight and sometimes I just want to leave my friends and go and find some fun people to be with because their drama is just too much. If I wrote a soap opera, it would be sooo good, I am not kidding. And just saying its not just relationship drama, it’s friendship drama, sports drama, this drama, that drama. I’m telling you: best opera. You know what? I’m going to do it. Get ready guys, it’s coming your way.

Anyway, I hope you’ve enjoyed this little insight into what really happens in teen relationships and hope you don’t take life as seriously as chick flicks do.

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